Singles Group

Tonight I went to my first singles group meeting for church. It was actually a lot less awkward then I was anticipating and I met some really nice people.

After, me and my friend went out to eat really quick and as we ate we began to talk about being single.

I'm new to Atlanta, well new to Atlanta in this stage of my life. I did go to high school here but that seems like forever ago.

So as a twenty something, single, Christian, woman in Atlanta, how the heck am I suppose to meet some decent men that share the same beliefs as me. Now don't get me wrong. I am all about meeting new people, no matter what their beliefs are, and I actually prefer my friends not being all Christians...but I guess that is a whole other blog post all together.

Back to the main point.

I didn't marry my high school sweet heart, and I didn't get my MRS degree in college. Now I am an adult, trying to figure out life and what I want it to look like, I enjoy being single but I have always had the desire to be married.

now what? where do I go from here? I work from home, so that takes out meeting a man at work. I go to church, but there are a lot of families and not many singles. I go to singles small group, but they aren't really suppose to be for that but we all know that everyone, at least the majority has that in the back of their minds. I go to the gym, but I guess that times that I go there are only older men...like grandpa older man.

So when am I suppose to go to the gym? Is there a time when the majority of single, eligible bachelors go? But I'm not just after just any man. I need a man that shares the same beliefs and convictions as I do....

I have been learning from a guy friend who has challenged me to put my self out there more. So I try. I smile, I talk, I show interest. Is that enough?

There is a huge tension because I am enjoying being single. I have been able to do so many things and learn a lot about myself and really grow as an individual. Relationships are hard work. But at the same time I want that challenge. I want to enter into that stage of life because I have always desired to be a wife and one day a mother. (though I feel like I play the mother role so often that that part is satisfied in me at least for now)

As a follower of Jesus I am learning to trust Him with every thing and that includes relationships, and not just romantic ones, but friendships and family as well. That's tough. I also want to honor Him in my marriage. I believe marriage was meant to be this beautiful picture to those who do not know Him, to see Him in an earthly relationship and that it would point straight to Him. Is it going to be perfect? No. Is it always going to reflect Him? No. Is it going to be hard work? Yes. But my desire has always been to work on that relationship, for life mind you, and be able to show the world His love and heart through my marriage.

I don't want a fairy tale story, I know that doesn't exist. But there is something in our hearts that longs for that. Why? I believe it's because we are made for this beautiful, intimate relationship with our Creator Jesus. It is about knowing Him and being known by Him. There is a verse that says, If any one loves God he is known by Him. How wonderful is that? We were created to have this intimate relationship. One where we are known fully and fully know. As we live day by day in this relationship we begin to be more and more like the Creator and we begin to realize who He is and who we are because we are His. There is pain, and hardship, but like any great story, the Hero wins in the end! Think about it. Think about your favorite movie. There is something that has been planted deep with in our hearts and we can not escape it. We long for it.

I believe God has created marriage to be the closest picture to what He desires for our relationship to look like with Him.

It's beautiful.

And my desire is to be that picture. To work it out. To work out all the crap in relationships and all the hardships that come with it. To enjoy those moments of pure joy and happiness. To love and be loved.

I think that's what it comes down to.

The heart beat of every person that is living today.

Our heart longs to love and be loved.

My heart is no different.

Sometimes I tell the LORD it would be easier if He would just one day drop off my husband in front of me with a big red bow that has a tag that reads: TO:YOU, FROM: GOD, ENJOY!

Pretty sure He has another plan. One that includes patience and waiting. And as my desire grows, I think that it is actually a gift. Maybe. Couldn't it quit possibly be one? I hope so. I hope that in all of this waiting and longing and knowing my desire and it not being full filled and so I eagerly wait for it that much harder, that in all of this something is being worked in me. Something that is far more precious then a priceless jewel.

The fruit always tastes better when you have to first labor and sweat and wait and wait and water and wait some more, pull weeds and toil over the land.

Any thing we have to work for tastes so much better then free food, I think at least.

When I can enjoy the fruit of my labor, it is sweeter then the fresh honey off of a honey comb!

This is where my hope lies for a godly marriage relationship with my husband. All this labor, oh buddy....this marriage is bound to be rewarding! (note I did not say trouble free, or pain free)