I read today about the man who started World Vision. He did a lot of great things for the world and his organization has fed and helped thousands of children and traveled all around. But to what cost for those who were closest to him? His relationship with his wife and children was horrible. He neglected them and during a final tour his daughter was crying out for help but he refused to come to her because of his commitment to speaking arrangements. His wife went home and found that their daughter had cut herself in attempts to kill herself and a couple of years later committed suicide.
I then read about Mother Teresa who worked in India a single woman. I’m not saying she didn’t ever make a mistake but she was able to fully devote her life to serve her Maker with a pure conscience. She did not have a husband and therefore was able to focus all her time and attention and affection on the work at hand.
So the question that arises in me is would it have been better for that one man to remain single his whole life? He would have then been able to do what he was doing and not have to worry about his wife and children. Then when he poured himself into his job he would have been able to do it fully without being guilty of leaving his responsibilities as a husband and father.
I have been thankful to see both sides by examples around me, the single side and marriage side, of living out your dream and especially in a different country and culture.
Both have pros and cons. Being single is hard overseas, I have experienced this first hand, no one to travel with and as a woman no one to be your protector. I had to attach myself to a family and become a part of their family unit. This was a blessing but also a challenge.
But so is marriage (so I have heard and seen). Marriage in itself is a challenge but then you take that into a different culture that both of you are not familiar with and try to work in this new environment. I have seen marriages thrive and struggle because of this. Then you add kids and that adds a whole new dimension.
But both being single and married can be a beautiful thing. There were many things that I could do among the people as a single woman that my married friends could not and vice versa. I was able to hang out with single woman and relate to them in ways that my married friends could not and I was able to stay out later and longer because I had no responsibilities to a husband or children. But my married friends were able to relate to the woman in a different way because of similar marriage issues and the understanding of raising children. However I was able to connect with my friends who were married, and ended up talking about marriage a lot even though I have not had that experience before. So either way, it does not matter if you are married or single to be able to relate to woman of other cultures. Women are women all over the world.
Whatever your marital status is, be obedient and love. Love whoever the Lord puts in your way.
If you are married, do not neglect your family for the sake of what you are doing. If you do, I would say it is better for you to be single. If you are single you can still be used, don’t let that be an excuse for disobedience.
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